8 Choices to Create Love and Connection for Self

How do we choose love and connection for ourselves?

December 30, 2020

What does that even mean?  What does it feel like?

Kind of a weird concept… right?  But – here – you will find GOLD!  So let’s start digging!  

This isn’t just a read… it’s going to require some work!  But it’s good work… and it will be so worth it in the end!

8 Choices

Choose this…

  1. Monitor your inner negative dialogue – your inner critic.  This will keep you safe even when there is turmoil around you!  
  2. Treat yourself as well as you treat others.  Be your own best friend!
  3. Be kind to yourself.  
  4. Treat yourself with dignity and respect.
  5. Look inside yourself and seek to understand what you value.  Ask yourself, what is important to me?
  6. Choose to honor what you value.  
  7. Choose to keep your heart and mind aligned with what is important to you. 
  8. Choose connection and love now, rather than waiting for everything to be right in your life.  Connection and love is not an end point.  Choose connection and love now.

Key concepts

  • Clearing. Let’s start with allowing love and connection into your heart and mind.  You may need to reach in and clear out some clutter to provide a path.  Do it now, we will use intent to start the process.  Close your eyes and imagine clearing the clutter away to provide a clear path for love and connection to flow into you.  Here’s why this is important… Clearing out the clutter and opening your heart and mind to new possibilities happens when you allow and accept yourself as you are today – in this present moment.  You are whole and complete just as you are.  Plant that thought in your mind.  It belongs in the new space you just created.  
  • Feelings. Feel your emotions.  It is important to notice and acknowledge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Sometimes you may feel that your feelings don’t matter to others, and that you are not allowed to express your feelings.  You don’t want to be negative, or drag others into what’s going on in your head.  However, the truth is that your feelings are important and need to be expressed.  You need to understand why you are feeling what you are feeling.  It’s most important for YOU to understand why you feel the way you do.  
  • Emotions. Sometimes we fear our emotions… like somehow we will lose control if we allow ourselves to experience an emotion.  The truth is, when we resist our emotions, they continue to push back on us until they demand our attention.  It’s like a wave in the ocean. if you are standing waist deep in the water, as a wave rolls in, it will push you over.  Depending on the size or strength of the wave, it could forcefully push you over and down in the water.  
  • Resistance. You can only resist the emotions for so long.  When we face the emotion, and dive into it, and observe what is inside, it loses its power to knock us over.  We then come out with a new perspective.  Otherwise, we get knocked over, pummeled, and then struggle trying to find the surface, gasping for air.  Try feeling the emotion, try diving into it to observe what is there.  You will be surprised what you may find!  Feeling an emotion doesn’t mean reacting to the emotion. Feeling an emotion allows you to observe what is going on inside.  
  • Harmony. Physical health and emotional well-being is intricately interwoven!  What affects one affects the other.  When we live in harmony with our emotions, honoring and respecting what we are feeling, and seeking to understand the source, we can begin to discover reasons for our ills!  
  • Thoughts. Positive emotion for self comes from thoughts of love and acceptance.  Creating positive emotions requires careful monitoring of what your brain produces! Think of your brain as a vending machine.  You put in a coin, and it will fill the bin with all kinds of thoughts.  The problem is, we reach in and pick them all.  In fact, we most often pick the negative ones and discard the good ones!  It’s time to start picking up the ones that uplift and inspire, and leave the ones that drag us down behind!  

Abundance. The world we live in is filled with abundance!  There is no shortage of love.  There is no need to compete for love.  It’s all around you.  It is yours for the taking.  Open your heart and allow it to fill you up!

Thought/Journal Prompts 

How can you feel more love for yourself and connected to you?  

What does love and connection with your-self look like?  

If you love yourself, what actions would you take or not take?  

What would you do differently?  

What would your inner dialogue say?  

Why is it important to love yourself?  

Why is it important to connect with yourself?  

When have you felt the most connected and aligned with your true self?  

Where were you when you felt you were at your best with loving yourself?  

The goal here is to recognize your level of self love and connection.  

This inner dialogue – your inner critic GUIDES YOUR EMOTIONS!  Who do you want in the driver’s seat of your happiness?  

The inner critic will never take you where you want to go.  


Close your eyes.  You are in the car with your inner critic (IC)  Where do you see IC right now? (Isn’t it interesting that the acronym IC sounds like “icy” – cold and critical!)  

Is IC in the driver’s seat?  Passenger seat?  Back seat?  In this exercise, you get to move IC anywhere you would like.  You can pull over and kick IC out the door, put her in the trunk… It’s your choice.  

Just remember, because IC is persistent, she will reappear.  Before you kick her out the door or move her to the trunk, I want you to take a good long look at her.  Because sometimes you don’t recognize her and she slips in the side door to tag along.  

This time, I want you to recognize exactly what she looks like.  

That way, the next time she shows up you can say, “I see you IC, but today is not your day! I know you are always here, but you’ll have to ride in the trunk.”  And in this car, the trunk is sound proof!  


Take a deep breath and release your inner critic and all the negative thoughts and patterns of thinking that have created your current situation.  

Imagine a beam of white light coming down from above to fill your body and push out all the remaining stagnant thoughts that tie you to your inner critic.  

Now, it’s time to fill the space with something new…  Imagine the light in your body as you read the affirmations.  


I am open to learning to love myself completely, just as I am.

I am enough.

I am complete and whole just as I am.

I speak to myself with love and compassion.

I am filled with thoughts that lift and inspire. 

I am in the driver’s seat of my life.

I can have and be in my own power.

I choose to honor and value my body.

I am safe to love myself just as I am.

I am free to experience love and connection with myself.

Final Thoughts

Love and connection in our lives is directly connected to our ability to love and connect with others.  Joy and happiness are founded in our ability to establish and maintain loving and caring relationships… with ourselves and others.  

Let’s step into 2021 with the new idea of choosing to love yourself on purpose!  

Download the Create Love and Connection booklet HERE:


It will give you a recap of the blog and a place to journal your thoughts.  From it, use the 8 Choices to Create Love and Connection, the clearing and affirmations for meditation.  Feel the power of this work!

If you are struggling with loving and connecting with yourself, let me show you how.  I would love to help you with this process.  I promise that you will be amazed at what is on the other side of this work.  

Sending love, light and blessings to you!  

Laura Jeffers

Your Health and Wellness Coach